Reply to Mother Giving Money to Platonic "Boyfriend"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If she can't move in with you, you can head off future problems by making that clear, even though it's an awkward conversation.  You don't have to make it because of the $5K or the boyfriend, just communicate clearly to her that she can't expect to live with you, period.[/quote]

We already plan to do that, but I'm concerned that she will blow her limited nest egg and then be stuck in dire straits.  Do I just say "not my problem" to the woman who raised me - that seems cruel.[/quote]

I don't think you have to just say "not my problem".  You can continue to raise concerns with her, and set aside money for the day that she is truly, truly in need.  But the bottom line, I think, is that if she's a competent adult then she gets to make her own decisions just like the rest of us.  [/quote]

Said freedom only goes as far as when you decide to impose on others. If OP's mom wants to move in with OP, OP now has a greater right to interfere in her mother's adult activities. Sort of like how a couple who's getting mega-$$$ from someone's Mom and Dad has less right to autonomy.

OP, your mom is probably being preyed upon. [/quote]

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