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[quote=Anonymous]In recent years, I have realized that my parents' #1 way of interacting with the world is to look for flaws. So, if you announce that you're looking for a new home, my mom will ask ridiculous numbers of questions about potential pit-falls you might not have thought of yet (every time you talk to her until you move in). Or, if you say you got a promotion at work, my dad will make a "funny" comment designed to cut you down to size. They like to gossip and present negative information, and dig for it on other people. It's exhausting, and I try to just blow it off. It took my 3/4 of my 43 years to outgrow this same behavior and realize how much better life is when you don't think you're better than everyone else for no good reason ...

Anyway, my mom started in on my husband today, criticizing things he's said about his job. She clearly wanted me to agree that he was jeopardizing his position. When she wouldn't drop it, I told her that he had been in that job for a long time, and she really didn't have any basis for her critique, and that she should just drop it. She was clearly miffed, and I now feel bad for hurting her feelings. I could have handled it more deftly, I guess, but I did the right thing, right? I was not going to be dragged into a conversational hit on my husband!

I am just so tired of this. How can I redirect them to less negative conversational tactics? They are in their early 70s.[/quote]

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