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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here..  thanks for all the information.  Truly helpful![/quote]

PP here.  One more thought to keep in mind for long term --- does FIL have very strong social and family connections to NJ?  If not, I would highly recommend having him move to your state before you apply for Medicaid (if that's on the table).  Once my mom needed long term care, we basically were stuck with her being 300 miles away, because there's no way to transfer medicaid from one state to another.  She would have had to move in with us and reapply in our state, and we couldn't afford to hire a full time person to be with her all day for the X many months it would have taken for her to be accepted to the program and then for us to find a facility that would be willing to take her.  The last two years of her life were utterly exhausting for me going back and forth to her for many, many hospitalizations where she really needed an advocate in-person.

I totally understand not wanting him to move in with you, but if there's any way you can move him in-state before the shit hits the fan, the better off you will all be in the long run.[/quote]

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