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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone else have this issue? My kids (5, 3) play favorites. My mother (who lives 1000 miles away) is not only their favorite grandparent, might also be their favorite *person*.

Mom is in her early 60s, recently retired, in decent health, and has been pretty involved from the start. Mom/Dad probably come stay with us for 1-2 week stretches, 3 times a year. And then we go visit them about 2-3 times a year (usually much shorter visits because we don't have that type of leave).  My mom came and stayed with us for an extended time after each birth as well. She is great at playing with them, but has been involved in the day-to-day when she's here as well - bathing, feeding, getting to sleep, driving to activities, taking to park/library/museum/whatever...she even helped me wean both kids and potty train. On top of all that, she also cooks a lot, helps us with housework, etc. Every time she comes, it feels like a vacation for me, because all I really need to handle is work.  I can take a long bath. Spouse and I can go for a movie. It's awesome. And the kids are SO happy.

[b]And for the most part, my mom is really good about always making sure to ask us before she does anything, does not give us unsolicited advice, and avoids contradicting any of our "rules".  Even when the kids go to her house, she sticks to our sleep schedule/dietary preferences, limits TV, etc.. She even makes sure to have on hand their favorite foods, etc.. 
[/b]
The "problem" is that my daughters actually prefer my mother to EVERYONE. They more or less ignore other relatives if my mom is around (which is hurtful to some family members, understandably, like my MIL), but they even ignore US!! Which, honestly, I don't mind (see comment about 'vacation') . I'm seriously exhausted all the time and I could use the help. But it really bothers my husband - he says he feels totally ignored when my parents are around.  My girls even are *sad* when their dad comes home from a weekend shift (if my mom is around), because 'now we have to play with daddy, instead of grandma, oh gee whiz!'

Any suggestions?[/quote]

Op, are you 100% positive this is true? It may not seem like it to you, but do you think your DH feels, your mom is overly involved? She does sound lovely, but I can see how much of what she has done could be alienating to a spouse.

Outside of that my only ,suggestions are if your mom is not needed  the days DH returns from being on call send  your mom home. Let dad handle things, he may actually miss his kids after being away from them for a weekend and want to spend time with them.

As for ignoring people ages 3 and 5 is too old for that , insist on good manners. [/quote]

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