Reply to How to peacefully end a friendship with a needy friend?

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[quote=Anonymous]I had one of those... I hit my limit and disconnected after 10 years.

A) if you do not enjoy spending time with a friend, you do not have to do it.  You are under no obligation. You shouldn't feel worse after a call/visit than before.

B) The good ole phase out is your best bet. You will become less available. "Sorry Sally, I'm hopping on the metro. Can we chat another time?" "Oh, dinner on Tuesday? Darn, I have a work event.  Let me check my calendar and get back to you."  "So sorry to hear about how John didn't text you back.  Maybe he is out of town.  I have to run, but we will talk more later." Basically cap your time and don't be as available.  Plus, claiming one is very busy is like a sport in DC.

Yes, it's a little cruel...but it isn't as bad as one day losing it on her and having a blow up.  Or taking it for 5 more years and dreading/anxiety over her.  Less time doesn't necessarily mean no time - if she gets her stuff together you can always rekindle.

Generally these folks are so desperate for attention they may not get it at first, but eventually they move on..[/quote]

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