Reply to I miss my ex way too much

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[quote=Anonymous]I am happily married to a man I am very in love with and very attracted to.

However, I still occasionally have romantic dreams about various exes. There are 2 in particular that I had strong feelings for, but like you, I decided not to pursue due to problems that I knew would arise in the future (one was the selfish type who wouldn't be a true life partner, and the other was too irresponsible for my taste and had a possible drinking problem).

I decided a long time ago not to make a big deal about it. What helps me is remembering that every person we connect with emotionally touches a piece of us and reflects back to us a cherished piece of ourselves. We don't need that person to access that special part of ourselves. And just because someone touches a hidden place and reminds us that it is there DOES NOT mean that we are suited to being with them or that we are fated to be with them. (Although once in a while I daydream that we reconnect later in life, too. I don't beat myself up about it because I have lots of other unrealizable daydreams that are fun to have sometimes. I don't think it's F'ed up personally).

Anyway, the essential point I am making is that by not making a big deal about my occasional strong dreams/memories, they have become less and less frequent. They are nice memories now, and my relationship with DH gets stronger and is definitely more real, as he is my life partner.

The important things you should be asking yourself, OP, are about your current guy. Do you have a special bond with him, too? Or is he just good on paper? If you aren't really attracted to him and don't really love him, I don't think it's a good idea to go ahead with him.

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