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[quote=Anonymous]I am having a very unplanned third child next month.  My SIL is a delightful person who is basically kind and supportive under all circumstances.  She has been trying to get pg for about 9 months with no luck at this point -- they are planning a trip to the developing world in October that I know she would have cancelled if she were expecting.  I'm absolutely confident that she is - internally - starting to be extremely anxious.  I'm also absolutely confident that her husband (DH's brother) is being only marginally helpful.  My SIL periodically checks in with me via text to see how I'm doing, but she hasn't called me in a while, which I totally understand.  But, I was just told (via a different SIL) that at MIL's insistence, the whole family is coming to our house for Thanksgiving (a flight away for all).  I cannot imagine that my SIL will want to be here, seeing my new baby and two other kids, for four days around Thanksgiving if she still has had no luck by then.  But, she is such a people pleaser that I don't think she will fight my MIL.  What can I do to ease up this situation?  My focus at Thanksgiving will necessarily be on managing my new baby and other kids -- it's not like I can just talk to her about things while she visits my house of chaos.  I don't want to ask DH to tell his mom to give them a break as I have no idea what MIL knows/does not know about their family plans.  Do I just try to be sensitive but kind of ignore the situation?  the whole thing is in many ways none of my business, but I would be really upset if a forced visit to my house caused grief for a dear person.....[/quote]

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