Reply to Anyone on here have a child with FAS or FASD?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have two FASD children whose situations are complicated by other diagnoses, initially a different language and a long period of institutionalization.  But, FWIW, here is my experience.

If so, [b]when did you start noticing the signs - physical and mental? [/b]  For my first child, whom I met at age 2.5 years, in retrospect, the mental signs of FASD were apparent on day one, but until he was older, it wasn't clear that the issues were related to FASD.  No doubt he had serious disabilities from the second I met him but I don't think I realized he was FASD until he was 8 or 9.  However, there were no physical signs until about age 9, after he lost his baby teeth and got his adult teeth.  Then, the characteristic facial signs were evident.  I actually saw this with other kids as well - no physical signs until after the loss of baby teeth.  For my second child, whom I met at age 6.45 years, I didn't see the mental signs until fifth grade.  Then, it hit like a ton of bricks.  Until that point, other than being behind in reading, which everyone attributed to the language changes, everything seemed fine.  As far as facial features, I still don't see them in him.

[b]What were the signs that you noticed? [/b]  Eating issues, sensory issues, physical (cardiac) issues (which may be congenital and not FASD related), ADHD, cognitive gaps, what appears to be absence seizures, low percentile height and weight (less than 10th for one and less than  first for the other kid), FTT, academic issues, impulsiveness that is beyond belief, anxiety.  My kids are really textbook.

[b]When did you get a diagnosis? [/b]  Neuropsych and cardiologist.  Thing is though, since we don't have the actual drinking history of the biological moms, these are not diagnoses that are recognized or get them services in school.

[b]How are things going?[/b]  Both of my boys are doing amazingly well.  We don't have behavioral or attachment issues (anymore).  That is huge.  For my oldest, he has struggled in school his entire life and will likely graduate by the skin of his teeth and with lots of summer school to make up for failed classes.  But, he will be capable of living on his own and holding a good job, probably in the automotive industry.  My middle child is also doing great.  Honor roll student (with a 504 plan - lost his IEP last year).  He is definitely college material and should do fine, but he beats to his own drummer and struggles with doing things on other people's time frames so he's going to have to figure out a path where those traits work.

I want to add that things are going well because from day one, I knew that if my boys were going to grow up to be productive adults, I needed to teach them and help them grow to be independent right from the beginning - which does not mean that I am not nurturing.  There is not a time that goes by where I am not working on the next skill that they need to become independent.  I am realistic about their abilities, once their abilities and limits become apparent, and work with them to make decisions within what they can do, not what I wish they would be able to do.  It's been a long road and we're not done, but I am proud of my boys and my family.  No one would have ever predicted that they could be so successful.  [/quote]

If you don't know the drinking history of the birth mom,  how do you know their issues are due to fasd?  Is there a definitive test of some sort?   Thank you so much for your input.   What physical transformation to the facial features happened after the loss of the baby teeth?   [/quote]

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