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[quote=Anonymous]I know that lying issues have been discussed on this forum before, but please indulge me.
My 11 y.o. DD has been lying to me. 
A few weeks ago I asked her to go take a shower. It was one of those days with no school/camp, so she was watching a movie upstairs among other things.
She came downstairs at some point and I asked her about the shower, she said she did take it. I knew it was a lie, because the bathroom is right above the kitchen ceiling and you can hear the water running. I let it go and later at some point I checked the shower - it only had a few drops of water at the bottom (from the time I took my own shower that morning.)

A few days later she came downstairs (I could tell she just woke up - I heard toilet flushing upstairs and when she came downstairs soon after, she still had pillow marks on her face) and said she did her workout for the day. She is in martial arts and they are supposed to do certain things every day. I KNOW she did not do it, because she did not have enough time since she woke up and she is not the kind of person to wake up and drop down to do push-ups right away. She insisted she did. I asked her when, she said an hour ago. I told her I checked on her and she was asleep. She said that maybe it was half an hour before, she doesn't know exactly, but she did. I knew it was a lie, because it has been maybe 10 minutes since I checked on her and she was completely out (and snoring.)

So last night same thing happened. She was asked to take a shower and get ready for bed. After 10 minutes she walked out of the bathroom in her pajamas. I asked her if she already took a shower, she said yes. I said I didn't hear the water running and I said maybe she just washed-up instead. She said no, she really did take a shower. I asked her again, she repeated what she said before.
I knew she was lying but let her go to bed.
Then I went to the bathroom and opened the shower door. The bottom was completely dry. Not one drop. 
She insists she took a shower and that the water must have dried up and it's not her fault. 
I told her that if she didn't take a shower, she should just admit to it and it wasn't such a big deal, so she should apologize and go take a shower.
She said "but I DID take a shower."

I'm not arrogant to think that these are the only times she lied.

I did have a brief conversation with her (a while back) about lying and "testing the waters". Something along the lines "you never know when someone will just give up fighting you on the lies and just keep their mouth shut, but then when it comes to standing by you in a big important situation, you will be standing alone."

I guess my goal is to make her realize that every time she lies, the trust is broken and it's hard to get it back.

How do you guys deal with your teens/pre-teens lying?[/quote]

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