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[quote=Anonymous]My MIL lives in Hungary. (She and my deceased FIL were immigrants and she moved back there after he died). She lives in a small paid-for condo there and collects SSI disability and lives on that - her disability is that one leg is shorter than the other and she can't walk easily. She used to get help with getting groceries from her nephew but got into an unexplained fight with his wife and now she is on her own. She basically goes days without leaving her apartment or talking to anyone.

She's visiting the U.S. now for the first time in five years - I (and my husband) had not seen her since I was pregnant with our oldest, who is now 4.5. After he was born, we bought her a plane ticket to come visit after he asked her if/when she wanted to come. She didn't end up coming because she said she didn't feel well. After that my husband got mad and pretty much didn't talk to her for years. I kept on sending pictures of the baby and then our second child, but I sort of dwindled off sending them because  she never wrote back. (She has no internet capabilities so this was all snail mail.)

Anyway, my SIL invited her for a visit and has decided that she can no longer live by herself. She is 68 years old. SIL wants her to live with her, her husband, and her 11yo for half of the year and us the other half. I don't want to be an asshole DIL ... but I don't want her living with us that much. If she truly can't live on her own, then we'll have three young children to take care of plus her (I'm 30 weeks pregnant with our third and last kid). We both work full-time. We're going to have to get a bigger car and house to accommodate her. She smokes (outside) and has terrible psoriasis and leaves dead skin flakes in her wake everywhere she goes. She has pretty much nothing to do all day and when she's visited in the past (for 6 weeks at a time) has spent a lot of time staring at me and commenting on what I'm doing (maybe now that we have kids she'll have something else to focus on?) She also pretty much takes over the kitchen which annoyed me in the past, not sure if it would be an issue now.

My husband doesn't want her to live with us either but doesn't want to just say no to his sister and feels some responsibility for his mom.

Not sure what I'm looking for in posting this but it felt good to write it all out.[/quote]

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