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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom and I get along really well.  My teenage years were rough, primarily because we are totally different personalities.  I'm really introverted, and she is a total extrovert.  So in some ways, she just didn't get me, and I felt like I was inadequate because I wasn't as social as she was.  But overall, we had a good relationship, and here's why I think that was the case:

(1) She was genuinely affectionate.
(2) She truly admired my talents, even when they weren't the same as hers.  She was proud of my good grades and encouraged my love of reading.
(3) We had fun together--when I was goofy and silly, she'd laugh right along.  
(4) She was very firm, but fair.  I knew what the rules were and I knew that she would enforce them.  When I got in trouble, I always knew I had it coming.  There was never arbitrary punishment.  I also felt safe because of this.
(5) She was willing to admit when she made a mistake.  
(6) She stuck up for me against other authority or family members when it was justified.  If a teacher was treating me unfairly, and my efforts to resolve the situation weren't helping, she was a real mama bear.  She didn't run interference for regular disagreements, etc., but when I was being treated badly or unfairly, she stood up for me.  
(7) She never tried to live her life or relive her youth through me.  She recognized that we are different people, and accepted my choices even when they weren't the ones she would have made.  She fully accepted me and loved me as I was, while still having standards for my behavior.  [/quote]

This is pretty much exactly how my mom was, too. The biggest piece was that I really felt LOVED. Like, everything she did, even discipline, was because she loved and cared for me/us. And she was certainly not a pushover, she was firm but fair.

I didn't have any rough patches with her, not even in the teenage years. My older sister did (but I think that's because of rebelling against my dad leaking over to her relationship with my mom). I think it's totally normal if that happens, but it's not a given :)

I'm close to my mom still and we talk on the phone at least a few times a week and I Skype with her and the kids every Saturday. I am trying to be like her with my kids so they feel loved and protected the way I did (and still do!).

You can do it, OP![/quote]

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