Reply to Have you ever loved a woman but didn't tell her?

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[quote=Cogiteur][quote=Anonymous][quote=Cogiteur][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's my theory on this post:  you desperately want to believe that the man you are involved with "secretly" loves you but is just afraid/held back by his fears/too macho/emotionally scarred/dipshit/the bitches got him first.

OP, please.  He's not the one for you.  Stop it.  Stop wasting your time.[/quote]

I'm not the OP, but this is actually what happened to me.  I was in love with a guy.  I knew he cared about me, but always felt it was one sided and on his terms.  We never properly dated, but had a really strong, complicated connection.  After 3 years I finally told him that I loved him.  I expected nothing back.  A month or two later, he told me that he loved me as well...and then disappeared.  Come to find out the reason he was M.I.A was because he was scared of what he was feeling.   So that actually does happen.  We are not together.  We would not be good together in marriage.  [b]I still love him deeply and I know that he still loves me as well.  This has been going on for 20 years now and it makes you realize just how beautiful love is.[/b]  It is not just one dimensional.  It is a multi faceted experience.  [/quote]

Nice post.  I'm curious - If you love him that deeply, and it hasn't wavered in two decades, don't you long for him?  Or have you found a place where you can feel that kind of love without dissolving into madness?

Because this is where I am.  It's only been a year, and I'm trying to come to terms with being in love with her for the rest of my life and not being able to ever hold her again.  [/quote]

I do long for him.  We do still keep in touch.  We both have acknowledged our feelings, but want to stay true to our spouses.  Some days are more difficult than others, but I am learning it's more important to just know the love is there.  I don't need to hear it all the time because I know it just is.   It's taken a long time to get to this place, but it's worth it.  [/quote]

Really beautiful.

I'm envious of your relationship, that he can still hear (or read) your voice. And I'm humbled by your honesty, and your fidelity.[/quote]

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