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[quote=Anonymous]My FIL has just been diagnosed with a chronic, life threatening condition that responds very well to treatment and intervention.

The problem is despite the follow up appointments being made for treatment being made, he has refused to go.

I'm a former RN, and I know the hazards with this condition, but I also know it's unlikely my FIL will comply with treatment until he reaches the point where he's in the hospital and the damage is done.

The kicker is that FIL also has an alcohol problem, which will exacerbate this condition, but it's the secret in the family that everyone seems to just turn a blind eye to. I also suspect it's part of the reason he isn't seeking treatment.

He's a hair trigger kind of man, and culturally, MIL and children defer to him.

I just feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I've gently explained the possible outcome to DH (while encouraging him to get tested as there is a hereditary component), but I also don't want to go scaring the heck out of everyone as it won't help get FIL to treatment (he really could give a flying fig). I don't want to put unnecessary strain and worry on MIL, who will fret and still won't be able to get FIL to treatment. But ethically, I'm bothered that I know this could be ultimately fatal if left untreated (not immediately, but chronically).

So DCUM, what would you do? Let it play out or ring the alarms? I don't expect wither way will get him to treatment, but at least then MIL would know the actual outcomes (I know he would never let her into the appointments, and she's unlikely to research the condition on her own). 
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