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[quote=Anonymous]Over the past year or so, my husband and I have realized that we don't have quite the close and strong relationship we thought we did with my parents.  They live about four hours away, in the same town as my sister.  My mom and sister are very close, and since neither my sister nor my mom work, they spend a lot of time together.  My nephew sees his grandparents every day, and spends the night there a few times a month.  My mom - and my dad too -  have caretaker personalities - they really love to do things for others and be helpful.  So they are also regularly traveling to help aging parents, cousins, and other family members.  It feels like a real struggle to find time to see them.  We have a young child and another on the way, and honestly, we always imagined that we would be visiting back and forth with my family often and that they would be a regular presence in our children lives.   But it just hasn't played out like that.  It feels like my parents are always allocating their time to the people that most need their help, and since we are never in crisis, we rarely make it to the top of their list.  My mom told me a few weeks ago that she was coming down to visit this weekend, and her trip has turned into a week long stay with another relative to help, a three night visit with another sibling who lives 45 minutes away, and one night with us.  We've been saying for at least a year that we really want them to come and just visit for a weekend - no projects, just enjoying each others company - and my mom just flat out hasn't responded to my multiple emails providing available dates.

I feel foolish for feeling sad about this.  I really admire that my parents are such caring and giving people.  But I'm starting to feel like maybe they just don't enjoy our company.  And I'm sad that my children won't know them the way my sisters' do.   I can't figure out how to bring this up with my mom without sounding like I'm complaining that she chooses other people over us, which just seems childish and silly.  Should I just accept that they offer what they can, and be grateful for the time we do get?  Or is it worth trying to say something about all of this?

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