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[quote=Anonymous]I'm not sure what to do:  My Mom and Step Dad have been married for over 30 years.  He is 10 years younger than her and in much better health (for the moment).  She came to visit me (I live on the opposite coast) 2 months ago and was so sick when she got off the plane that I took her to the hospital in the morning and she ended up there for 2 weeks.  At the end of that stay, she was discharged into rehab and has been back and forth between rehab and the hospital since.

During all this, we've talked repeatedly about how she has declinced and they both agreed that it would be better if they moved closer to us so that I & DH could help them.  My sister lives near them but has a lot of animosity and isn't interested in helping unless she is "compensated".  Once we came to this conclusion (about 2 weeks into the visit)  he was supposed to start cleaning out their accumulated junk (think "Hoarders" light) and start packing up the stuff they wanted to move and hire a realtor to get the house listed.

Fast forward 45 days and he has done none of the above AT ALL.  He told me last 8 days ago that he was signing with a realtor, but when I look online, it's still not listed.  I know he's done nothing in the house because every time I ask his response is "it takes time"

He is by himself, he owns a business with family and they have taken over so that he can get this stuff done.  His siblings and neices and nephews would help with whatever he asked.  He has no excuse and yet seems glued in place.  Meanwhile, she is here, too sick to go home to a house she can't navigate (stairs to get in or out, stairs to get to her bedroom), probably too sick to fly back.  I can't bring her to my house because honestly, she needs supervision and we are at work and school all day.  I had her at my place the first night and she fell twice!  It looks like she's developing dementia and is very impulsive and forgetful. (as if her medical issues weren't enough)

I wanted to be helpful and give him space to get his shit together, but now I just feel like he's abdicating all responsibility and thinks I'm just going to take over.  My poor Mom is caught in the middle of this and I can't just walk away and tell him he has to do it because I won't.  But I'm running back and forth to her rehab, doing her laundry, getting the calls in the middle of the night when she panics (from her) or falls (from the rehab).  I'm exhausted.

I don't know how to force him to take care of his wife![/quote]

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