Reply to Could you take gifts from a relative if you knew that it disrupted their family?

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[quote=Anonymous]Say your brother makes 10 times what you do, but he has 9 kids, and you have two. His wife stays at home, and takes care of the kids. 
If he offered you $35K to buy a new car, but you suspected he really did not take care of his immediate family's needs, would you take the money? 
This scenario played out in my family. Once my father offered his brother money for a new car while my mother drove around in a beat up 25 year old car with no radio and no a/c. We lived a spartan life and never had the thinks my uncles kids had. My father was very generous to others, but we almost literally starved. No one seemed to notice. They must have assumed that we liked old cars and clothes, second hand furniture, and home cooked basic meals. 
Worse yet, it really hurt my mother that my father took care of the needs of others before ours.
Why did they not notice that we paid a huge price for his charity? They took anything he offered.
I am not sure why this is bothering me so much now. Years later I am still angry. Father is demented, mother is distant and bitter. 
Yes, my father was an inconsiderate so and so, but I can't stop asking myself why all the taking. [/quote]

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