Reply to Picky-eating DCs and Judgmental Grandparents

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[quote=Anonymous]3yo and 7yo DCs will be spending 2 weeks with my parents this summer, without DH and me. About a year ago my mom and I had an epic fight that nearly ended our relationship and began when she told me I was letting my kids parent themselves when it came to food.

I follow Ellyn Sattyr's Division of Responsibility in feeding, which teaches that raising your kids to have a good relationship with food and eating is more important than whether they eat their brussels sprouts tonight. It's well supported by research (as well as my experience applying it for 2 years now with picky DCs) but is hard for the clean-your-plate generation, i.e. my parents, to understand. And I will admit I have not even tried to explain it to them, because I view them (for good reason) as incapable of accepting that what they did as parents might not be the best or only way.

I am not interested in debating the merits of DOR. My question is this: Do I raise this topic of feeding before sending my kids off to spend two weeks with my parents? 7yo DC has already asked me to tell grandma he does not have to eat beets. I am frankly terrified of raising this with them. I am inclined to write a long email explaining how I feed my kids and asking that they try to respect that. Putting it in writing has benefits--conflict avoidance being first and foremost, but also I can convey a lot of information without interruptions from my bulldozer of a mother. But I can already hear her ridiculing me to my siblings, that I wrote her this long email about catering to my children's picky eating.

WWYD?[/quote]

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