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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I own the book also. [b]It's devestating to realize you will never have the mother you want: caring, loving, kind, and concerned with your well-being. [/b]For too long, as with any abusive dynamic, I truly felt as though I was fatally flawed, and if only I were thinner/prettier/more successful/more interesting my mother would finally love me the way I'd always wanted and needed to be loved. Of course, no day like this came. If I was down on my luck, my mother would se to take some sort of perverse pleasure in that and/ or pile on. If I was riding high, my mother would make subtle commments to disparage me and my situation, or somehow compare herself (favorably) to me.

It took a long time to reaalize this unhealthy dynamic - she's my mom, and this is how I was raised, so [b]for me it was normal to be constantly criticized, belittled, demeaned, or otherwise ignored. [/b]Having a daughter of my own is what it took for me to see how truly deranged she was and is.

I no longer have any sort of contact or relationship with her.

I'm sorry, OP. Good luck on your journey.[/quote]

I knew I shouldn't have opened this thread.  I'm tearing up at this.  The bold is exactly my experience.  I try not to think about it, but, for example, my daughter and I spent Easter at a friend's house.  Seeing my friend with her mother and their perfectly normal interactions made me feel a little sorry for myself all over again.  [/quote]

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