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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have heard this term come up a lot here and always dismissed it as not my mother. I read an article with a checklist someone posted about signs your mother is a narcissistic mother and she checked off so many I stopped reading. I finally started reading the book 'Will I ever be good enough?' by Karyl McBride and it is alarming how much of it is dead on.

I just started reading this so I am not very far in. Curious for others who have read this or recognized this in their mother, how did it impact things for you? How is your relationship with your mother now? 
How is your relationship with yourself now?

I feel like I have spent my whole life walking around feeling like I was the only one and suddenly my eyes have opened and I found out I am not.[/quote]

I own the book also. It's devestating to realize you will never have the mother you want: caring, loving, kind, and concerned with your well-being. For too long, as with any abusive dynamic, I truly felt as though I was fatally flawed, and if only I were thinner/prettier/more successful/more interesting my mother would finally love me the way I'd always wanted and needed to be loved. Of course, no day like this came. If I was down on my luck, my mother would se to take some sort of perverse pleasure in that and/ or pile on. If I was riding high, my mother would make subtle commments to disparage me and my situation, or somehow compare herself (favorably) to me.

It took a long time to reaalize this unhealthy dynamic - she's my mom, and this is how I was raised, so for me it was normal to be constantly criticized, belittled, demeaned, or otherwise ignored. Having a daughter of my own is what it took for me to see how truly deranged she was and is.

I no longer have any sort of contact or relationship with her.

I'm sorry, OP. Good luck on your journey.[/quote]

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