Reply to How do you learn to accept the family relationships you have instead of the ones you wish you did?

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Reply to "How do you learn to accept the family relationships you have instead of the ones you wish you did?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's just so hard . I see families  that work so well together and I wonder why can't we be that?
Why can't we fix it?
Why can't I fix it?
I know there's a lot of generational damage so no one in my family really knows how to be in a family.
On the surface we try to project this image that it's all good but it's not . It's better than when I was a child but still very toxic.[/quote]

You CAN fix it!  You can create the family that you want. You can be the parents that you didn't have. You just have to look forward. I am personally in the position to carry a lot of resentment and anger. I could be in such a different place in my life had I had normal, supportive parents, but that's not life. I don't know how, or when even, but I simply accept it. I try to understand the impact it has on my adult life and I can guarantee that I will be such a different parent to my children.  I accept my parents for who they are. I don't even think my mother, single mother, has any idea of the amount of damage she caused. Honestly, she doesn't need to know. I want her to be her happiest self and me to be mine. I want happiness in my life, not drama, so I moved on. [/quote]

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