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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh it's not about YOU or what YOU think or sex with YOU. There's not much you can say. Try a conversation instead.

"why don't you think you look good?"
"I think you look good, why don't you?"
"You want to lose 10lbs? why?"
"What happens when you lose 10lbs? Are you going to be happy then? or will it start over?"
"You just lost a lot of weight. How much is enough?"[/quote]

If it's not at all about me, then shouldn't I just ignore the matter like I do with other things that are none of my concern?

But, ignoring that first bit, which is inconsistent with the second bit, I expect the conversation would go like this:

"Why don't you think you look good?" 
[b]I'm fat.[/b]

"I think you look good, why don't you?"
(It's not about me, so why am I asking this question?)
[b]I'm fat. You have to say I look good, and you don't know what your talking about.[/b]

"You want to lose 10lbs? why?"
[b]Because I'm fat, I want to look good in more clothes, I want to have more of my waist, I want to occasionally eat something without having to count calories, I feel ugly.[/b]

"You just lost a lot of weight. How much is enough?"
[b]I lost 40 pounds two years ago. Since then I've barely lost any even though I work out every day and pay close attention to what I eat. My goal weight is to lose 30 pounds more.[/b]

Honestly, I don't tend to say a lot during these conversations because: a) she's not really looking for my advice or anything; and b)responses can be such a minefield. I mostly just listen. But I came here and asked the question because I wanted to see what other people (women in particular) found helpful, if anything.

And, I guess PPs knee jerk "ugh it's not about you" rubbed me the wrong way because she's wrong. It's a relationship. What affects her affects me and vice versa. (That's the nature of relationships). So, it is at least somewhat about me. That's why I laid out a couple of prime motivations - because I care about her and I care about me.

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