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[quote=Anonymous]I know this is small potatoes compared to lots of family issues here -- but what does retirement look like for immigrants you know in the U.S.?

My parents are Indian and came here in the 1970s, so it's not like they are unacclimated to the U.S. or are like the parents who come from India for a few months at a time. They had 30+ yr careers here and retired about 5 yrs ago. When they were working and raising kids -- life was busy. They made NO effort to carve out a social life -- not sure why -- didn't want to make the effort and never particularly liked or clicked with anyone so they didn't get on the dawat (dinner party) circuit that lots of Indians have; they had 2 couple friends also from India who were dad's friends back in HS and college; one couple friend lives in a city 2+ hrs away -- they do make an effort to see them about every 2 months. The other couple friend -- the DH in that couple passed away and the wife has "moved on" from the old friends. So now my parents are in my hometown with NO connections whatsoever -- not with neighbors; haven't kept in touch with coworkers; and no established social life.

Thing is -- they lament this. Sometimes directly. Sometimes on days like today when they see a neighbor shoveling out another neighbor's driveway I get to hear "why is he shoveling THEIR driveway, he won't touch ours." (Um maybe bc THEY have at least talked to him casually in the last 30 yrs while you've found excuses not to.)

I don't know what I'm really asking -- besides experiences. I feel bad. But I know they'll make no effort to change. They don't want to involve themselves in anything community oriented -- i.e. they mock their couple friend 2 hrs away that has taken on volunteer tasks like helping prepare taxes for people in the spring. They are not a part of the Indian community in their area, and frankly isn't an option; while there are lots of Indians in the area most "activities" are through the "cultural" center which is geared towards Hindus. (I'm sure it's open to all Indians but 99% of people who participate are Hindu). My parents are devout Muslim and wouldn't go to even secular activities there -- and frankly knowing a lot of Indians in that area, I can see "what are YOU doing here, you're not Hindu" kind of comments. As for mosques -- there is one, but it's a tiny congregation and there's nothing to get involved in -- no activities or committees or anything. So is retirement just going to consist of talking to their extended family on the phone a few hrs a day, reading the newspaper a few hrs a day, and then watching the irritating Indian channels on TV!? Is there a way to make it more "exciting" or at least interesting?[/quote]

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