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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
If you really feel your husband is emotionally abusive (and to me that doesn't mean simply "jerk" or "says mean things" or "says things I don't like"), then why bother wasting your time?  Just check into therapy for yourself individually and figure out why you want to be with an emotionally abusive person.  That's what I did (finally) and started making much better choices.[/quote]

Well, maybe I am over-simplifying it by saying "emotionally abusive."  That's really charged language.  Maybe just "questionable behavior for a loving relationship."[/quote]

Yep, it sure is!  That's why I wanted to offer up what it conjures up.

Humorously (now), I wouldn't have called it abusive at the time, or rather, wouldn't have recognized it as such.

[quote]Anyway, we're in counseling and I just wanted to see what other people's experiences are.  [b]I'll complain about DH in some other thread.[/b]  I'm glad you got out of a bad relationship before marriage.  If only we were all so smart.[/quote]

Well, I stayed for years longer than I should have - years after the abuse started...so I'm not exactly patting myself on the back.

Rather than just complaining about your husband, focus on being as objectively honest with yourself about what is going on as you can, which may include things you do to contribute to the cycle.

It always takes two people to make a problem - I was part of the bad dynamic in the abusive relationship.  I had to make changes in myself to stop that cycle.  Therapy is not about blame, taking sides or refereeing.  It's about fixing a dynamic.  [/quote]

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