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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I guess the only thing I can say is that regarding yourself, you need to be more open minded regarding red flags.

When something doesn't seem right in your gut, go with that feeling.

I know when you love someone and trust them, you don't want to be jaded about them so you try to have faith in them which is of course what you should do, but if you ever have that nagging feeling that something is "off" about someone's behavior, no matter how much it hurts you, you should delve deeper into it and think with your head vs. your heart.

It will save you a lot of heartache later on.[/quote]

+1.

OP, I haven't started dating yet and your issue is one reason why. My ex lied to me horribly and hid major things from me. Whenever I think about dating, I think, how am I ever going to avoid someone like him again? My other exes were also very flawed, in retrospect.

I think one red flag with my ex that I wasn't even consciously aware of, but see now, is that his reactions to situations were not normal.  I now realize it was always an act and that is why it seemed off. So one thing for me is that I don't ever intend to give the light of day to anyone who is putting on any kind of an act. And I think I've gotten much better at spotting that. The other thing, people say and it's true - watch how they treat other people, because that's how he will eventually treat you. Also, words are just words. Actions really do speak much louder. I think we get into trouble sometimes when we put too much weight on someone's words and not enough on their actions. [/quote]

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