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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you PP.

Maybe that is the problem. I was giving people a chance that openly expressed issues with trust and relationships.[/quote]

Yes, do not do this anymore.  The other thing I think is that, at least given my family of origin, there is an expectation that the woman will make the marriage work - that we should compromise and forgive and be flexible, etc. This is also the kind of thinking that leads you to think, even when you see the signs before marriage or spending a long time with someone, that you are "being grown up" because we all know that love isn't like the movies.  Then we set about trying everything to make it work, even in the face of abuse, addiction and serial infidelity.

Times may have changed, but when I was growing up men were not socialized the same way.

I am actually preaching to myself as well as you because I have been separated about 6 months, am moving towards divorce, and am trying to figure out how I will ever know what a good match looks like for me and how I can help my daughters not to make the mistakes I did.  My therapist says we will work on this, but so far we have been spending most of our time helping me figure out how to deal with a still-abusive ex.

Good luck to us both and everyone else struggling with this.[/quote]

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