Reply to BIL is so annoying! Just a vent.

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "BIL is so annoying! Just a vent."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks everyone, OP here. Appreciate your suggestions. Of course BIL came over this morning unannounced so I told him and DH to entertain the kids for awhile. The were good for about 15 mins and then the kids came looking for me for a snack and it was over. I guess that's better than nothing.

Totally agree that he would probably benefit from some type of therapy but DH has causally mentioned it (i.e. just having someone to talk to) but he shut it down. DH has also told him he needs to find a hobby, join a gym, or even volunteer to fill some time but he always has an excuse why those things don't work.

And he does actually have friends who did invite him out when he first moved back, but after blowing them off so many times they have kind of given up. He is 42 and at that age all of his friends are married and most have kids and they invite him to dinner or to grab 1-2 drinks, which he things is lame and boring since he prefers to go out late and drink way too much (probably another sign that he is depressed). No clue why he wants to hang out with us so much since we are definitely boring, but I guess it's just different with family.

I hope things change soon![/quote]

[b]Hope is not a plan[/b]. :roll: [/quote]
HA! I was just about to type that exact line and then scrolled down!

OP, you have to step up and do something. This will not get better magically on its own. You've got to "go big" with him.
You and your husband need to have a sit down with him:
--he can come over for dinner on Thursday and Sunday evenings. Arrive by 5:30, leave by 8pm
--if he shows up at other times, you will not answer the door or you will all leave the house
--tell him he is showing many signs of depression. Offer the names and phone numbers of 2 therapists in your area.
--if he balks, tell him he needs to make an appointment with one anyway just to rule it out

Stick to your boundaries. He will do everything he can to push them. He won't leave at 8pm and will try to stay. At 7:55pm, walk him to the door and thank him for coming.

Do it. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics