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[quote=Anonymous]My DH and I have had a tension-filled relationship with my SIL for the past two and a half years. Long story, but suffice it to say, it started after she lost her job AFTER whittling away her savings to travel around the world. She then proceeded to withdraw more of her savings to really do up her house, which would then not sell. She's increasingly bitter about the fact that we are comfortable (not rich, but live within our means and save). She accused DH and I of "betraying" her by not "thinking of what would be best for me" when we made some life decisions that did not involve her at all. Anyway, being a pacifist, I started with apologies for unseen and unknown hurts, with the hope that she would not be mean to DH. But oh I was wrong. She was MEAN! There were so many instances that I have started to lose count and patience. Apart from all these things, she is (and wants to be) very close with my 5 year old DD. Initially, I was ok with visits, but now she has moved to my area and is increasingly in our family's business. For example, she'll call every weekend and ask to either come over or take my DD out. We have rules such as no sleep overs until she's older, and no getting into a car with anybody besides me or DD. My SIL does not like these rules, constantly asks us why we have these rules and complains to the rest of the family. When she does come over, she breaks my DD's routines, lets her do whatever she wants, and I'm left with a nightmare kid who's tired and cranky, and wants to know why she can't do whatever she wants to do ("I don't understand, Aunt XYZ allows me to....")

When does maintaining the peace become too much? My SIL is currently living in a plush apartment that rents for what I was paying for my townhouse, and she has no job, just some limited savings. So, while I have some sympathy for her situation, I have no sympathy for her money management skills or for her love of fine luxuries. I also cannot abide by the fact that she allows my DD to have toys/books where the girls are all wearing tight, short clothes and the primary task is to dress them up "to attract the boys" - her words, not mine. This is just a tiny snapshot of this whole situation. My friends, who are privy to this situation, have advised me to draw a line and keep her out of out house. Is that too big a step?

PS...Both DH and I work full-time and we would like to spend the weekends reconnecting with each other and our DD. Also, another little one on the way, and I just cannot afford to be stressed over SIL situation. [/quote]

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