Reply to WWYD re: summer vacation with ILs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can your husband ask his sister directly about her and her husband's plans? If there a reason why he is waiting for his parents to ask her and her husband if they're coming, rather than asking them himself? I would skip the middleman there and ask SIL and BIL directly, and be crystal clear with them that if they cannot commit for sure at this time (which I would find truly understandable, six months out), then they need to say so to you and to MIL. He should explain to SIL that their choice has a big effect on your family's choice and expenditures, and though he shouldn't pressure her -- he needs to know. "We don't know yet" is an OK answer but it may mean your own family has to either take a risk that you will go ahead and rent a place of your own or take a risk that you'll just stay with the in-laws and possibly be even more cramped.

Even if SIL/BIL don't come, if it were us, I'd go ahead and rent our own place just to have more space and better sleeping arrangements. I get the "what about the kids at night" thing if MIL insists you eat and spend evenings with them, but that would mean you'd just need to be clear before you go that either they come to you and let you host them for some dinners and evenings  in your cabin, or they accept that either you or your husband will leave each evening to be in your cabin with your kids.

Hope it works out. You sound like you have lovely in-laws and they mean well but maybe aren't realizing why you want so badly to see pictures.[/quote]

thanks - this is helpful!  They really are great, but I think DH is starting to feel like - if we're going to pay to stay there, maybe we want to spend some of our vacation time at a place of our choosing, if that makes sense.  When they bought the cabin it was sort of like - yay, a place for us to host everyone on vacation! - but if we are now paying to spend our summer vacation there at a place we didn't choose and frankly only go to because ILs have the place there, it's less appealing than starting to vacation on our own at somewhere more convenient.  That would break MIL's heart though.  Ugh![/quote]

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