Reply to SIL living with us for 5 months now and no sign of a job.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Sounds like maybe she is depressed.[/b]  Is this an open-ended arrangement?  Maybe you and your husband could sit down with her and help her come up with a game plan.[/quote]

This.  She needs to see a psychologist.  Perhaps just getting on some antidepressants temporarily will help.  Something like Wellbutrin (as opposed to SSRIs) that tends to have a stimulating effect (instead of a foggy effect) and is less associated with withdrawal (like SSRIs).

Tell her that she's fine living there so long as she (1) sees a psychologist or at least asks her primary care doctor about taking an antidepressant (2) starts a daily routine (that includes some kind of physical exercise to help her get motivated) and (3) hits weekly targets of job searching (i.e. sends out 2 or 3 resumes a week).  Even if she sends out resumes to jobs she doesn't get or is lukewarm about, the ACT of sending out resumes will get her into a mindset that searching for a job is an active process, not a passive one.

If you really want to help her, you need to put conditions on the free room and board.  [/quote]

Let's not jump to insisting she go on antidepressants. That is a big decision, and if her depression is more situation-based, the maybe she should focus on changing the situation or coping with it instead of trying to numb herself with drugs. I do agree that seeing a therapist would be helpful if she has insurance. I have been readily prescribed anti depressants in the past while in a similar situation and I feel that they are not always helpful, and they can be very difficult to get off of. I think it's normal to feel a little depressed about a job loss, so be wary that she doesn't think you're sending her the message that there is something inherently wrong with her that needs to be fixed. [/quote]

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