Reply to Mourning the loss of my dad

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry, OP.  My dad died in 2001 and I still get bummed about it (don't cry, but get flashes of regret).  One of the PPs said "the firsts" of anything without your dad is hard, and I agree.

Also, things you would do that your dad would likely have participated in are hard (not as hard as that first year, though).  For example, my dad was a scientist and teacher, so let's say my DC says, "in the fall, why do some leaves turn yellow, and some turn orange or red," ugh I know my dad would know the answer and it would be so easy to have asked him.  There is so much knowledge that died with him; my kids would have loved talking with him.

This never goes away. Just yesterday I was telling my DC a story my dad told me about a rooster he had when he was six.  It just came up in conversation.

Another thing that's sort of wild is knowing that you knew someone who lived through a time that you did not.  For instance, my dad was 50 when I was born, and I'm almost 50, so my dad was born in 1915.  The Great Depression was huge for him.  Right now my DH and I are watching Steve Buscemi in "Boardwalk Empire," about the Prohibition years, and I'm thinking, wow, my dad lived at this time…they used kerosene lamps…they had finished with The Great War (WWI) and thought there would never be another war, they hadn't heard of Adolf Hitler, etc.

One of the better ways I've dealt this this is to re-focus on who is left alive (like, my mom).  So, for example, I'd ask mom about if she had chickens when she was young, and if not, how she got their eggs…this is a good way to have conversations that you never would have thought to have with your elders.

My thoughts are with you, OP[/quote]

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