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[quote=Anonymous]Part vent, part asking for advice on how to make reconcile my MIL struggles.

I'll start with the good. As far as MILs go, I am lucky. Mine is generally kind, helpful, generous. Most significantly, she takes care of our new baby now that I'm back to work. She also helps around the house.

BUT. She drives me crazy. The biggest reason for this is that she lives with us, so she's always around. As a result many little things she does irritate the bejesus out of me. Example from today: putting our baby in sleepers many months too big.

But then there are some issues I think are a little bigger and maybe are boundary issues. She's pretty much obsessed with the baby, which means I nearly have to wrest baby away at the end of the day. Tonight I almost lost my shizz because MIL was in our bedroom when baby was crying after bath time, literally physically in my way as DH and I were trying to lotion and dress our child. She also always has comments about how "that's not how we raised kids in (her home country)." She says these things even though she thinks every little thing the baby does is something wrong ("excessive" stretching, wanting more to eat, spitting up, etc), so she's clearly uncertain.

For his part, DH will usually back me up, and has called his mom out when he saw an issue. I think the trouble is he doesn't want to take her for granted and he doesn't see as issues some of the things I do -- he just sees it as her trying to help.

I need to find some zen here, some balance that allows me to appreciate my MIL while still standing up for myself when warranted. Any ideas on how?

Thanks for reading my novel of a vent and plea for perspective.[/quote]

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