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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom is a nightmare, freak show, racist bigot, etcetera. She's verbally abusive to the point of fairly tale stepmother behavior, and leaves a trail of chaos and tears wherever she goes. This behavior started about ten years ago, before that she was a decent mom and a lovely woman. No idea where it's coming from but with the things she's said to me I don't have any interest in knowing. I've largely cut her out and see her, at most, once every two years for a day at someone else's house or an official function. 18 months ago I got married to the man of my dreams (of another race, as well) and two months ago our wonderful baby girl was born. My mom knows of none of this and I want to keep her in the dark. She'll be judgmental and honestly I don't want my kid to have to deal with her. I have to see her in a month at a wedding, there's no way to get around it (believe me, I've tried.) I'm considering sending out a notice to everyone at the wedding, about 150-200 people (or asking the host to do so) requesting that my family not be mentioned. Am I being crazy here? Help me. Thanks.[/quote]

Who cares if she knows. It is her problem and you are making it yours. I hope you take your husband and child to the wedding with you and parade them right in front of her. Let her have a hissy fit in front of everyone and she will only be embarrassing herself. If she doesn't want a relationship with her grandchild due to race, once again her problem not yours. Verbally abusive to me and you get it right back at you. Yeah I know it is your mother and you want to be respectful and all but doesn't sound like she is doing the same. Your marriage, pregnancy and child are not a dirty secret. Stop treating them like they are. Send a note to the entire wedding guest list to keep a secret about your marriage and child? Really? Seriously?

Grow a pair and stand up to your mother, if for nothing else do it for your child.

You may also want to remind her that one day she is going to be old and dependent on you for things....like what nursing home she is going to go to.

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