Reply to I never realized how abusive MIL is

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "I never realized how abusive MIL is"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Okay, abusive is a bit much. But she's HIGHLY directive to my FIL, who can be a bit clueless but is a genuinely a nice guy. She's definitely the dominant personality in the couple, but over Christmas what I noticed is that not just does she boss him around, it's about inane things (JOHN, BRING A SWEATER. JOHN, YOU MAY NOT EAT THAT. JOHN, PUT THE BUTTER ON YOUR BREAD... and yes, these are quotes from real life).

What really bothers me, however is how this extends to my kids. Again, it's definitely not abusive, but I would really like it if she said "please" to them every once in a while and let them make mistakes/make decisions, esp. about stuff that doesn't matter. It's a constant stream of "do this, don't do that, now do this" from her and it's tiring to listen to.

1) Any hints on how to deal with this with my kids? They stayed w us over Thanksgiving and I had to bite my tounge from saying "DO NOT speak to my children like they are idiots. Oh, you might want to be nicer to your DH, too"
2) I'm terrified that this learned helplessness that my FIL seems to have is a tendency my DH will/does have as well. Part of the reason this whole thing is freaking me out so much is that I too definitely have a stronger personality than my DH (I try not to be, but I have Type A tendencies while DH is really laid back). I DO NOT want to turn into this woman. Nor do I want that sort of dynamic in general to emerge.

What do you think?[/quote]

I think you married a man you knew you could bully so yes, you will become what you hate the most. Your MIL.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics