Reply to Dreading seeing a relative this Christmas... because I am envious and dumb

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am dreading seeing my cousin this Christmas, because I am envious of her.  I might as well be honest on an anonymous forum, right?  She is so confident in herself, and always upbeat and perky and organized and thin.  I've always found her to be somewhat shallow and occasionally mean.  She met and married a rich, successful guy (think Silicon valley engineer type) in the past year and has spent the past six months traveling and shopping, basically.  I know nothing but this outside, superficial stuff, mind you.  Meanwhile, my life isn't bad.  I have two beautiful children, a good career, a lovely home.  I am very grateful for that.  My marriage is so-so but that's partly because of the little kid years and all the stuff that goes with that (I'm TIRED).  I feel like I put this mammoth effort towards everything- my career, saving money, my kids, etc., etc., with ok results, and that she just takes it easy and things fall into her lap.  I know that this is a dumb way of thinking- very stupid.  I've felt this way before and then something terrible will happen to the person I'm envious of- they'll get cancer or something horrible like that, and then I'll fell really bad all over again.  Why am I like this?  I hate it.  Tell me how not to be envious of other people and just accept what I have.[/quote]

Easier said than done, OP.

First, try to cultivate self-love: meditate, pray, recite mantras, look yourself in the eye (in the mirror) and declare positive things about yourself. Tune in to yourself and tap into your fears and desires.

Second, think about why you're envious. Does she have characteristics you'd like to cultivate in yourself? I know you mentioned her spending her time shopping and traveling - things that represent a freedom of sorts. Do you want more luxury in your life? More adventure and spontaneity? Try to figure out how to cultivate these things for yourself.

Finally, how can you improve your marriage? More time connecting? Less time running around? You mentioned that you're tired (TIRED) and there's nothing like exhaustion to take the wind out of your sails. How can you get more rest?

I hope these ideas help.[/quote]

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