Reply to Men Should Be Aggressive Except When They Shouldn't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well, sure, I'll accept any negative to my overtures as a sign to cease and desist. I'm very cautious about being pushy about sex -- I want her to want me. But I think, to some degree, this plays into the not uncommon complaint from women that men these days "aren't real men."

My question is whether it's common for women to regard this sort of cautiousness about her desire for sex as unattractive passiveness or tentativeness. And, also -- if they like guys who come on strong -- whether they give out signals when they want a guy to come on strong. [/quote]

I would imagine that the signal you'd give for liking when someone comes on strong is to respond positively when someone comes on strong. My husband, for example, will grab me and kiss me as described in the other thread and he knows that I like that. He also knows that I am less likely to be immediately responsive if he does that while I am, for example, cooking dinner or working or sick or if we're in front of his parents or whatever.

If the only way you can think to express desire is to be sexually aggressive, you need to work on your technique. My husband, who I mentioned before is fairly dominant, was NOT like that with me early on. He was passionate and I definitely knew that he wanted me, but in the beginning, our sex life was pretty vanilla.[/quote]

I'm not sexually aggressive. All too often, my go to move is to ask my wife, "wanna do it?" Very little chance of miscommunication there. Also - very little chance of making her weak in the knees.

But, my question was less about how to make my sex life better, and more of a general question about whether women wish their men would be more assertive and aggressive. [/quote]

"Wanna do it?"
Seriously?  THAT's your line?  No, not going to make her weak in the knees anytime soon.

Don't believe in this "women want a caveman claptrap".  Some women do, but plenty of others get turned on by being spoiled and doted on.  Try drawing her a bubble bath, giving her a massage (and dont make it obvious that you are trying to get laid- that makes you seem desperate and conniving.)  Make her feel like you truly value her and care for her.  To be frank, if you are truly in touch with your wife's emotions then you should have no problem reading her emotions and knowing when she wants you to grab her face and kiss her.  Women give off very obvious symbols.... or just ask her!  Have the discussion!  She might give you certain constraints, such as "yes but not in public" or "yes but not when I'm doing chores".  Don't get offended or butthurt about this, just listen and do your best to accommodate her.  It's your job to figure out your woman's preferences.  [/quote]

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