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[quote=Anonymous]...about all human relationships (especially friendships and romantic relationships). Share them here! I find reading DCUM [i]very[/i] useful and a lot of people here have interesting stories and insights to share. It makes dealing with all the bitter trolls worth it.  :wink:

I'll start:

1. [b]Nobody is as open-minded as they seem.[/b] Seriously, if someone tells you, "Oh, I'm SO open-minded and accepting!" take it with a big, fat grain of salt. The fact is that they are going to judge, and the amount by which they judge will depend on their general level of insecurity. But in my experience, everyone will judge you on everything. It's not because people are evil, but because they are insecure and don't accept themselves. If you judge yourself harshly, you will judge others harshly. And that is what 99% of humanity does.

2. [b]Constantly re-assert your self-respect and your rights.[/b] Because those closest to you will always push and test those boundaries. It's not because they're malicious or they don't like you, but they subconsciously shit test you to see how far they can go. I don't know why everyone does this, but...to some degree or another, everyone does this at some point in friendships or romances, even parent-child relationships. You always have to be vigilant about protecting your personal boundaries and your self-respect, because nobody else will do that for you.

3. [b]Don't hide from your friends when things are going badly.[/b] It's extremely common, when we are having a bad time, to slowly withdraw from our social circles or our loved ones. But this is a mistake. Not only do you deprive yourself of having a fun life, but you're also sending confusing signals to other people. They might well think that you've decided you're too cool for them and drop you. Nobody will like it if you come running back to them when you're back on your feet again and suddenly want to resume the friendship.

4. [b]Don't share your deepest secrets unless a friend or lover has proven themselves REPEATEDLY.[/b] This one is very important. All good friends and good lovers have potential to become exes. You don't want an enemy to walk away with your deepest secrets and knowledge of your inner life. Only share that after someone has repeatedly, over the course of at least a couple years, proven themselves worthy of trust.

That's all I've got![/quote]

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