Reply to How to handle a GYN exam in this situation?

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[quote=Anonymous]I can totally imagine the things people on this board will say in response but still better than asking anyone in real life -- I'm in my mid 30s and have never been sexually active. No real explanation for it besides the fact that I'm from an orthodox religion and am not married. However, my friends around me probably don't know it -- I don't really hang out with too many people of my faith; don't have any religious dress that I must wear etc.

Anyway I've also never had a GYN exam. Now due to a scary situation that's arisen for an extended family member (who is in her 60s, gave birth to 2 kids etc so it's totally different), I'm feeling like it's dumb to never let anyone check you down there. Though the question is -- how do I handle this with a GYN to minimize embarrassment; not just physical embarrassment but more from the fact that I'm this old and yet so inexperienced? I know they say GYNs see it all, but the reality is that in most normal suburban practices, they're not seeing too many nuns or sex industry workers. They're seeing women my age who've had multiple partners and probably given birth 1-2 times and can pretty much handle anything down there; they're not seeing too many 35 yr olds who handle an exam like a 17 yr old.

Is there anyway I can lie and say I've been sexually active before but am not right now, or will they know immediately on exam? I obviously don't know but I feel like I can handle the speculum exam/pap smear; I expect it'll hurt, but I can get through it without too much reaction since it's done with instruments. The bimanual however is a different story and I can see myself tensing all over the place as soon as hands touch me. I mean a regular abdominal exam takes forever for me bc I tense up, so I imagine my reaction to this will be much worse given where they're touching.

Tips on how to handle? FWIW -- my regular dr. doesn't do pelvic exams; I feel like a GYN may be better just bc the do these all day every day and probably can handle it more efficiently when dealing with inexperienced patients. And I don't need to go back to them if I do really poorly, whereas I will have to see my regular dr again next time I need a flu shot and that'll be embarrassing.[/quote]

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