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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why shouldn't a woman show interest in the man she likes? In any case I have found that I need to be forward and bold in my romantic interests or else men just don't really notice me, so I flirt heavily, have invited him out for drinks, etc. I can't tell how interested he is however.

And I'm not "small" for seeing her as a rival, thank you very much. I'm just insecure, which I already said. Being insecure doesn't make me "small", and I even said in my OP that I'd have been friends with her in any other situation. I'm not a villain here.

And it sounds like it was a mutual break up or she left him because she found someone else. So I don't know if he's completely over her or not.[/quote]

It's fine for a woman to show interest in the man she likes.  But there's a difference between showing interest and "wooing" or "pursuing" someone.  (And this goes for men, too.)  If you've shown that you are interested in someone -- flirted, asked them out for drinks or a date -- and they haven't responded in kind, then you need to move on.  If a guy flirts heavily with you and asks you out for drinks, and you still don't show any interest in him, I'd give him the same advice:  Move on.

I really do think that if you have definitely made it clear you are interested and you still "can't tell" that the other person feels the same, it's likely he/she does not and is just being polite (or maybe just wants to be friends).  But "wooing" or heavily pursuing (to the point that you see other people as "rivals") comes across as desperate -- whether it's a man or a woman who is doing it.

No one is saying you are a villain.  But you do seem sort of naive.[/quote]

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