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[quote=Anonymous]DH is sometimes deliberately left out of family gatherings.  This is especially true if the "favored one" (not DH) can not attend.  In other words, MIL seems to be subconsciously relaying (in her age without filter) - "If (favored one) can't make it, then I won't be happy, so no one will be happy..."

In other words, MIL feigns ignorance or uses selective reaction when it does not suit her, but if it does not suit DH, it is overlooked.

DH has done a lot for his family.  He has one or two abusive siblings, and tries to please them, to no avail.  He has given up trying - boy did crap hit the fan when that happened!  Anyway, they now have no "use" for DH, and DH (understandably) feels extremely slighted - but worse, hurt - after all he has done.  He has refused to issue other familial favors (anything monetary goes outside the family, as DH learned family and business do not ever mix!).

There is a part of me that wants to make excuses for DH, as DH is out of excuses and is now simply hurt.  I have always tried to stay out of it, as me being part of anything that existed before me (the favoritism, slighting, etc.), would just result in my being "to blame" somehow.

MIL pretends that the whole family is involved, when (she knows!!) DH was left out.  I know I shouldn't care.  Would you? [/quote]

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