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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can you agree with your spouse that you're willing to see how it goes with her grandfather on his own, as long as she's willing to have him live with you if it doesn't work out?

As part of this conversation, you'd probably want to agree on what it means to "work out" (or not work out).

It would probably also be a good idea to discuss which aspects of having him around are hardest on your spouse, and how those could be addressed.

For example -- does she want kids, and does having her grandfather around stand in the way of that (either b/c it makes it harder to have sex/conceive or because he would be using the potential future child's room)?

I don't know how old y'all are, but if youve been married 10 years, and she wants kids, and grandpa is an obstacle to that, I can see her being pretty determined to have your own place before her biological clock runs out of time.[/quote]

Good advice, thanks. I will really keep this in mind.

We're in our mid-30's and both want kids. My wife does love her grandpa but she just wants us to have an opportunity to raise them on our own, which I understand. He is a little "old school" with some of his views and she doesn't want him projecting some of his views on our kids. We're both black, and he's from the Jim Crow south and can be kind of grouchy about non-blacks. We don't want our kids going to school with bad notions about Whites, Asians, Latinos etc.

It is also a space issue as well, with the bedroom. His presence sometimes interrupts our sex life but I think we still have sex more frequently than most people.

But even with all this in mind, my wife is really bullish about moving right away without taking his needs into account.  [/quote]

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