Reply to This is the 1st time DH and I have had opposite views on something important/ personal value

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Reply to "This is the 1st time DH and I have had opposite views on something important/ personal value"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you might want to read about low-conflict marriages/relationships. Not fighting isn't necessarily a good thing and doesn't make it easier to resolve conflicts when they do arise. Sometimes people in high-conflict relationships are actually happier.[/quote]

I get what you are saying- but I think we have a really, really happy marriage. So does he- which I think is what makes this harder for me to deal with- because yes, we are low conflict so its harder to resolve when we aren't used to it. I just don't think its directly related to marital happiness here. I wouldn't trade my relationship for any other one I;ve seen to be honest. We are proud of it, even. But there is no such thing as the perfect couple I suppose- or perfect anything.

Poster is right above. He wants out of this area for a lower COL area. I get that and would agree even in many ways even though I like it here a lot. We could move to lots of different areas throughout the NE which I would love because my sibling, parents, his parents even live in NY and NE. He absolutely wants to move south, looking at a lot of places we have never even visited. I think he romanticizes some things and he underestimates how different life is without a support system at all and having to find all new friends, etc. and be yet even further from family.

I just think that Skype and flying is great but just not the same. I just always wanted to raise my kids more in the model of a closer knit extended family, whereas DH family is very spread out, very small and a little bit stoic/ cold/ do your own thing, despite obviously there being love there. So that's how he can't really understand how this 'want' of mine, this value, feels like its something that is just a part of me. I don't really blame him, his viewpoint is molded by his upbringing, his model and just as mine was.

Basically its weather vs. family and there isn't much room for compromise if he absolutely wants to leave the area, since this area kind of IS the compromise most would suggest.[/quote]

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