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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I understand you are venting, OP, so of course you are dredging up the past. I get it and I'm sorry.

However, there is nothing you can do. You may be consciously angry towards your step-mother, but you must also be unconsciously angry towards your father. Don't forget he bears responsibility in all this. He must be attracted to this kind of woman, and please understand that on some level he must get something out of pairing with controlling women!

So accept that their relationship is messed up and that your daughter and yourself are collateral damage.
I grew up hearing my grandmother say right to my mother's face that different races should never marry - and my mother is white and my father is asian! Let go of the grandparent-grandchild dream bond, and move on with your life.

[/quote]

I have "accepted" it, PP, but Ive also lived with this particular situation for 10 years, (and other bad things for 10 years before that relate to my dads bad choices). Whenever I reveal this to anyone, someone is always helped by it. Its disgusting to reveal, but in the end, someone else can feel like they arent the only ones living in the twilight zone.

Im not unconsciously angry at my father. I was very aware of my anger, and realized it was pointless, as none of this was personal. Its his problem internally. It just sucks to see how he is missing out on his grandkid, which would NOT BE HAPPENING if SHE thought it was important.

Regarding the racism in your family, yes we have some of that going on too...I am white and MY husband is asian. Ahhh, life.[/quote]

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