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[quote=Anonymous]Its too exhausting to detail, but the readers digest version is that after my mom died, my father eventually married a woman who is a narcissist. She controls every minute of his time. She prevents him from seeing me at my home, discourages him from spending any time with his only biological child (me) and biological grandchild (my daughter, now 8) while he is made perpetually available to all of her kids and grandkids.  He now is a Rush Limbaugh listening "independent" after being a liberal the whole time I knew him "before". The only approved way for me to see him is at their house. After a terrible marriage to another woman after my mothers death, he promised me he would get a prenup and never marry anyone again who I was not able to get to know. He ended up marrying this woman with me having no chance to meet her while he spent two years at her house with her family getting to know him. I had to be at a hastily thrown together marriage with total strangers. When I asked about the prenup years later, I was villified and treated like I was so terrible to be so mistrusting. Her lawyer son eventually sent it to me and it was written by him, and basically allows my dad to live in the house in the event of her death, but she leaves him NOTHING and he has to pay the mortgage and upkeep of her house which will then go to her kids. After he was hospitalized for an pulmonary embolism, and was on blood thinners, she sobbed on the phone to me that he would go home and "work too hard". I assured her he would listen to her if she told him to take it easy. Within two days of being home, he was on the roof with a chainsaw cutting down a tree branch. When I asked him whose idea it was to do that, he said "mine". When I asked her what she said when he proposed this, he said "She didnt stop me".

At my baby shower, she showed up with too few desserts for everyone because my father had not given her the correct # of guests. She shows up all upset, I say its not a problem at all! We have plenty of food! All cheerful. Later my dad says with real anger at me "You complained to Mary that she didnt bring enough desserts." I said "Does that even sound like something I would do?" He said "I heard you". I said "well, that would be impossible, because that never took place." Later he tried to say "Well, I guess I remembered her telling me her version." After years of playing nicey nice to her so my daughter can know her grandfather, I caught her listening in on one of the rare conversations I have with my dad on the phone anymore.

The woman is a disgusting fraud. I know I am not the only one who knows, but the people in the know are few in number and are kept at bay. As my daughter gets older, she sees what is going on, and its sad. We talk about it honestly. It still is just very painful. He is completely absorbed and controlled. Thank goodness I know whats happening- a woman who used to be married into the family told me things that explained the horribly painful and bizarre transformation of father from a kind caring person to a puppet for a soulless narcissist. Its awful.

If this sounds like your situation, I empathize, and I am very sorry. I know its dreadful. I put my gameface on for 10 years, and will keep doing so. But when my father falls ill, she will control everything and there will be nothing I can do to help him.[/quote]

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