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[quote=Anonymous]I don't think I understand what they are doing.  They moved into their own place so presumably you have to provide access to your own home.  If they don't call, you cannot be responsible if you aren't home.  You say you are active people with your own social life.  Just continue to make your own plans.

You say you confronted them about not helping.  Was help something you had arranged?  It sounds like you expected it simply because they moved closer, not that they necessarily offered it.  Maybe they want to just spend time with Baby, not necessarily make you dinners and buy diapers.  No one can read minds - if they offer help and you want it, make concrete plans.

I also didn't understand the part about them coming 10 days before but then you say FIL was angry you were all over the baby.  Was it before or after Baby came?

I would set up a firm holiday schedule now though (we did this right when we got married.  Specific holidays with each family or a preset rotation.  We do Thanksgiving with mine, Easter with his, Christmas at our house with whoever wants to come, Halloween with our friend group, summer vacation with cousins.)

As for the language issue, you will all just need to be honest.  They must understand that your mother cannot understand English.  By the same token, you must understand that they do not understand your native language.  Exclusively using either in mixed company is not appropriate.

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