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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you everyone for your feedback. I will try these approaches with DH. I too believe it is a matter between him and his parents.
They are making my life miserable and I have already criticized them to DH, and cried over it, and the whole mess. I am tired, I am just trying to enjoy my new family, I just wanted them to be like my parents, come when invited, ask when is a good time and come then. 
I feel they do what they do in part to piss me off and unfortunately I am allowing them to get under my skin. I have a BEAUTIFUL baby and those feelings of wanting to be a better person are just being spoiled by the constant annoyance of my IL suffocating me. I feel like I need space to heal from the this broken relationship - still can not forget (or forgive) the way FIL disrespected me, my culture, my family, my language...
We have already established that we will spend Thanksgiving with them, it'll be hard for me to put my feelings aside and be in their house, but I'll do it for my husband. We told them that Christmas will be with my family, but they already told us that they will then be here the week prior in that case... 
I feel they will never give up, but you are right, I can not let this break my marriage!

p.s.: The other GK,who is a teenager now, was in part taken care by them, since the parents split up when baby was very young. They feel very connected to the GK (and that's partially why they've ignored us for so long, they are the favorite GP, and I feel that they think they need to be the caregivers to our baby too... [/quote]

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