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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH agrees it is too much but can not confront them - his parents are very controlling, always made sure he knew how much they expected from him and when he disappointed (which wasn't much). I guess he is afraid his parents will just decide them never to speak to him again - for the record, I am married to an awesome man he is great, his inability to confront his parents hurt me a whole lot, and is turning me into an ugly person towards DH, affecting our marriage. We are always stressed out. I know he is in a difficult place and I hate his parents for putting him there (I 100% believe my in-laws know exactly how much we are bothered by their presence, but they do not care) but I want to protect my family, my marriage... Tough situation, do not wish this to anyone.[/quote]

Okay. He needs to step up OP. You need to plan out the conversation with him. I'm thinking you may need to start the conversation with him there and then let him pick it up. Do it together. It sounds like if you wait for him to do it, it will never happen. So what if they're pissed at you for a while. They'll get over it. Figure out what your parameter are with the ILs--they need to call? Schedule one day week to visit? Be clear that you're not saying that they can't visit, but that it has to be on your terms. If you give them a set, pre-planned time to visit, that will be a lot easier to monitor. [/quote]

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