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[quote=Anonymous]We are new parents (first baby) and I am having a though time dealing with my in laws' constant presence. 
To summarize the story: In laws announced to us that they were getting a place in the area 4 weeks before we were due. We were in shock. Husband said nothing to his parents. I had the baby, my parents were here (from abroad) at my request. In laws come and stay a few days - did not help much (didn't offer to bring food, help with house chores, nothing). Few weeks later they return to move in and decorate their new place. They stay about 10 days, show up once or twice. DH and I had a talk to them and asked how come they were here before for 10 days before and never showed up to help, etc... then father in-law attacks me saying that I was all over the baby, very protective, speaking to the baby in my native language, my native language was being spoken all the time in our house (my mom doesn't speak English, my dad does some) and they felt unwelcome because of that - and they were decorating their place, and that was exhausting...They returned to our area a few weeks ago, they're settled in and start coming to our house everyday for visits. They NEVER ask us when is a good time to travel here, they are very controlling people (have schedules for everything, plan things months in advance) and by getting a place here they do not need to ask us permission to visit.
My husband does not confront his parents and I want him to do so, to ask them to give us space so we can adjust to our new life and enjoy our brand new baby and family. In laws already told us that they will be here for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas... We did not even had the chance to invite them, they announced they will be here.
We are super laid back people, we are the type that don't plan much, have a very active social life and love to travel. 
In laws didn't care much for us before, this sudden attention is driving me crazy, and I can not stop fighting with my DH because he will not talk to his parents and ask them to back off. 
If you meet them you'll think they are the sweetest people ever (I thought that for a long time), but I am now seeing their controlling, disrespectful way of inserting themselves in our lives and I and very very unhappy about this.
I am a VERY family-oriented person, I think it is very healthy for grand kids to have great relationships with grandparents, but my in-laws are suffocating me. They are extremely competitive people and it almost feels like they want to be in our baby's face all the time so the baby will love and bond with them more than with other people (my parents, my siblings, my brother in-law). 
I am not sure how to deal with this situation, I feel like I am always stressed out and bitter and not fully enjoying these first months of motherhood.
Is it too much to want some space and want your in laws (or my parents for that matter) to come when we want them to come, when we invite them?! I'd welcome people's feedback and advise.
Thanks![/quote]

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