Reply to Elderly relative is an unsafe driver. File a report with her state DMV?

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[quote=Anonymous]I had to do this for my dad.  He had Alzheimer's and just wasn't safe to drive.  It was a crushing decision because my mom had passed away and he had to rely on caregivers and others to drive him everywhere but we just couldn't risk it.  Each state is different, it looks like you already researched what it takes in Mass to have a license revoked. My dad was in CO where I couldn't ask the DMV to revoke his license - it has to be a medical professional.  His doctor didn't want to inform the DMV because he was afraid my dad would be mad at him and either stop seeing him or stop being forthright with him, but I insisted. It got to the point where I essentially had to threaten his doctor that if he refused to inform the DMV and my dad got into an accident, we would widely publicize that the doctor not only knew he was impaired but consciously chose not to contact the DMV (which was his obligation). I hated strong-arming the doctor but really, he could have been the guy who stepped on the gas instead of the brake and killed a dozen people.

Once the DMV was informed, they made my dad take a test, which he of course failed.  His license was immediately suspended, but he had the opportunity to continue to try and take the test.  For at least six months my dad studied and took the test and studied and took the test. I remember him telling me how he felt the questions were deceptive, any excuse other than the fact that he simply did not have the mental capacity to drive any longer.  In our situation, I don't think my dad ever knew his doctor turned him in.  He just got a letter from the DMV telling him to show up for a test and he did. Now, my dad THOUGHT it was my brother who turned him in (throughout the disease he unfortunately blamed my brother for all sorts of things) and no matter how many times we told him otherwise, he continued to believe my brother did it to him.  Eventually, he progressed in the disease and forgot all about it, but that was a tough year or year and a half.

It sounds like your relative is a little more "with-it" intellectually and may very well go down the path of insisting who turned her in. You could talk with her doctor.  Even if you don't have medical power of attorney, you can discuss your concerns with her doctor, the doc just can't tell you anything back.  But perhaps her doctor would be willing to send the letter.  Something to consider.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this.  Of course it is the right thing to do, but that doesn't make it any less painful.  Hugs.[/quote]

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