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[quote=Anonymous]Yeah.  My friend was due with her first in the first week of November and was planning to host Thanksgiving.  I told her she was crazy and to change plans immediately.  She had every rationale why it was not crazy.  Her husband was cooking.  Her mom would be there to help.  It was a disaster.  She told me later she had *no* idea how bad it would be and she had a really easy baby.

In your case, maybe the stay with family won't be bad.  There are families where a newborn comes home to 11 and 12 year old boy siblings.  Maybe the stay will be a good thing.  With so many people around, I highly recommend pumping or buying a can of formula and letting others feed and change diapers and that you work on sleeping 15 hours per day.

However, I have a hard time imagining that a houseful of people including tween boys will be quiet enough while the baby is sleeping.  I have a hard time believing that your husband will be appropriately focused on you and the baby and what you need with all that family around.  I suspect that this trip is his way of throwing down the gauntlet that the baby *will not change not change your lives and that you will not become the freaks that he has seen other people turn into when they have a child*.

I am not a germaphobe.  The lack of flu shots wouldn't and didn't phase me when I had a baby.  One of my parents is a doctor who says the most dangerous place to be germ wise is in a hospital.  Said parent emphasizes good hand washing hygiene and sleeping methods to prevent the transfer of germs and immune system support.  And, honestly, I forgot to ask people to wash their hands half the time.  No one will fault you for being "that mom" who makes everyone wash their hands before handling the baby.  And ask everyone to have a flu shot before they come for Thanksgiving.  It can't hurt to ask.  If everyone has had a flu shot, that should give the baby as much herd immunity as possible.

The thing that I would be most concerned about it is the drive.  I have spent my life driving back and forth to Upstate NY.  We have family all over that area.  In holiday traffic, hell in Friday night summer traffic, it can be a nightmare.  What if you get a baby who hates the car seat and screams every time you put him in it.  It is a phase that won't last long, but that is exactly the kind of thing that happens on a drive like this one.  You will need to stop and feed the baby and do diaper changes.  You can't take him out of the car seat while the car is moving.  Some newer moms can give you an idea of how long a feeding plus diaper change takes.  And let's assume everything goes swimmingly with feeding that you don't have any reflux issues, that baby has a good latch and can feed efficiently, that you don't have any problems with breast feeding if that is what you are doing.  If you have even one feeding difficulty, the whole process takes longer and is not improved by you having to improvise.  I can say that early on when I was trying to breastfeed, I couldn't do it with any shirt on.  I had to be half naked even to try.  I had a really hard time breast feeding and I had a summer baby so I could be half naked in my own home.

I wouldn't have even thought about the possibility of illness.  I would have been flipped out about the logistical nightmare.  I think unless your husband has an epiphany about the prospect for disaster that you are going on this trip.  If I were you, I would be furious and I have plenty of things to say about how to act on that anger with none of them being healthy or productive.[/quote]

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