Reply to best and most compassionate way to let a hot mess of a friend go

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[quote=Anonymous]
Here are just a few characterisitics/patterns which will be relevant to deciding how to go about this. This is a bit long. Its important to have enough detail in case you have dealt with exactly this personality profile and hopefully you have a good idea on what to do.

Won't take any suggestions, small or big, and refuses to consider anyone else's point of view.
Rejects expressions of empathy on any matter that bothers her, instead emphasizing how hard whatever it is is on her.
Talks over you while you are talking (pauses as if there is space for you to talk then resumes talking as soon as you try to talk making actual exchange of ideas impossible)
Constantly emphasizing how others have it better than she does. And I mean everyone and I mean constantly.
Ascribes sinister motivations to casual dialog. A mom at the pool whom she knows casually asked where she is going for vacation (She may have just have asked IF she was going on vacation). Friend went on and on an on to me on the phone about this exchange, saying that not everyone can afford vacation, what kind of person asks a nosy question like that, is she just trying to make someone feel bad that they cant afford a vacation, etc etc. I attempt to ameliorate gy saying She was probably just making conversation. That idea is completely rejected.
Rejects evidence that her interpretation might not be the full story. Rewrites past events to suit a narrative that she was mistreated, and refuses concrete evidence to the contrary (ie "You never called" while her cell phone shows I did numerous times, but doesnt change her POV that I never called). This is really disturbing.
Has no friends at all besides me. Not one. This is of course very disturbing now.

The above are some of the redder flags, in particular the refusal to rethink her interpretations. I honestly think she cannot as much as she will not. Its almost the same thing. And I think she is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, as she has an ailing mother and (she says) is being rejected by all of her sibilings for reasons (she says) that she has no idea of. (This is of course POSSIBLE, but now I am starting to have doubts).

She is not going to be interested in my feelings. So there is no point in telling them to her.
She needs serious therapy and help, but she will not do it, and me or anyone telling her won't tip the scales.
She is a single mom with no connections and resources of family or friends, and I am genuinely worried for her 8 year old son if she loses it.

Do I: let her call when she is ready and tell her compassionately that I am worried and I think she needs help?
OR do I: let her call but just be busy and unable to get together should she want to?

Im not one to be passive so option B just isnt my thing. This is what my husband and a few others have suggested.

Im voting more for the first option. It just seems the right thing to do. But I do not believe it will be effective. She will likely just have another reason to think I dont understand, etc.[/quote]

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